I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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