What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Randomize
