It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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