He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
