She's JV to your varsity
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
