U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
why do cheetos always look like penises
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
