after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
