still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
