let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
