drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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