Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
