i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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