They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
