I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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