I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my being single is dangerous.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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