Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
