you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I know her cup size but not her name....
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
