just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
