"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
