i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
