We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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