She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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