i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
