All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
