Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
