Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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