So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
