it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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