Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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