the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
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