Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
