these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
