Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
