OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
