So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
