I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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