When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
