Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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