that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you traded sex for a burrito?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
