who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he puts the penis in happiness.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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