I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
