So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
