i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
