she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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