some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
