Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
