we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
