By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
