Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
