I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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